Holy Taco for May 19

TACO: If You Want to Make It On Wall Street, Never Invest in WWE

The WWE just lost 43% of its stock value in one day, a worse drop than the one that triggered the Great Depression. And now they’re under investigation for insider trading and deception. Apparently, lying to the public about your new streaming network and TV deal was a very bad idea. The only worse idea was believing anything a pro wrestling company says in the first place.

BURRITO: Katy Perry is the New Champion of Atrocious Lyric Changes

Only an image-obsessed PR queen like Katy Perry could take an innocent song like “Daisy Bell,” about two lovers riding a two-seated bicycle through the park, and alter the lyrics to make it LESS offensive. Of course, her new lyrics absolutely suck, and are actually way more offensive than she imagined, because omitting references to poor people because you didn’t want to sing about them is kind of dickish, even for the “You’re So Gay” lady.

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