Holy Taco for May 20

THIS THING: Three Easy Ways to Make Conan O’Brien the New Ratings King

Not a whole lot of people watch Conan O’Brien’s show. Luckily, he’s on TBS and they don’t care about ratings, so he got a new contract. But if he ever wants to expand and re-enter the “people watching me” department, the show needs a boost. I offer three cuz I’m helpful.

THAT THING: “Thank You USA”: Our New National Anthem

Unintentional comedy is a rare beast these days because everybody’s too damn self-aware. Not this guy though! Kosovan singer Armend Miftari just penned a tribute to America that was hopelessly outdated 15 years before he actually wrote it. And yes, of course it’s the cheesiest thing ever. That’s why I love it so and must share it with you.

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