Pat Sajak went on Twitter and decided that anybody who believes in global warming is an unpatriotic racist. Regardless of whether he truly believes that or not, it’s crystal-clear that Sajak is bored shitless of his world-famous-yet-totally-humdrum life, and wants to lash out. I say he should do so, and in as wacky a way as possible. Like the ways I suggest!
Charlie Zelenoff is a troll who pretends he’s a champion boxer because it pisses people off. He pissed off an actual champion boxer and got the stuffing beaten out of him as a result. Still, the fact that he tried to fight at all is semi-admirable. If he ever wants to try again, I’m willing to coach him. Just so long as I don’t have to look at him while doing so.
For no decent reason, the NBA holds a lottery a month before their draft to determine the top three teams. It’s the dumbest thing in sports aside from curling existing. But clearly the NBA has no interest in a traditional draft, so I offer up five wonderful alternatives.
And no, none of them are “first owner to hunt down and kill Donald Sterling gets the number 1 pick.” That would be damn satisfying, but sadly, you can only do it once.