Holy Taco for June 5

ACE: The Failed and Forgotten Acting Career of John Wilkes Booth

This week’s Great Failure from the Past (just not named that way because the title ran long) concerns John Wilkes Booth: an actor from the 1860’s who became incredibly rich and famous, only to throw it all away after an unfortunate injury in April of 1865. He never worked again, and his short career has been all but forgotten to history. It’s like he did something to piss someone of or something.

GARY: Grading 50 Cent’s Terrible Excuses for His Terrible Pitch

Recently, rapper 50 Cent threw the worst pitch in baseball history. Instead of admitting he did it on purpose to get back into the spotlight and promote his new album, he’s tossed out flimsy excuse after flimsy excuse. I decided to grade them from worst to slightly-less-than-worst, and this here’s the report card.

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