This: The Pros and Cons of Walking Your Dog with a Drone
There’s a viral video going around of a guy who used his drone to walk his dog. This got me thinking about whether or not doing that is actually a good idea. Then, thirty seconds later, I stopped thinking and started writing. This is the result.
That: The Kim Jong-Un Video Game: An Exercise in Lazy Satire
Kim Jong-Un is getting his own videogame, and people are just going goo-goo ga-ga over it’s supposed satirical hilarity. The only problem is, based on the trailer, it’s all recycled jokes. Unicorns, Dennis Rodman, brandishing the machine gun he and his cronies supposedly mowed down his girlfriend with — it’s all been done before. This is lazy-ass satire, and that just might be the worst kind of satire possible.
It’s time to set a few things straight. First and foremost: if you watch The Price Is Right and sit idly by while I “work,” I hate you. You are the reason my life sucks.
For 40+ years, I’ve been forced to climb a mountain by the taskmasters at CBS. And not just climb — I’m expected to topple over the edge and crash some 100 feet (well, it’s 100 feet to me anyways) to a death that I pray will quickly come and yet never does. I’d sooner perform one of those mundane nothing jobs you losers constantly complain about. Oh, you operate a cash register and sometimes ring up multiple items? How I weep. When’s the last time you ended up in fucking traction because your co-worker didn’t know the price of milk?