Cracked

cracked

Between 2010 and 2016, I wrote about this, that, and every other thing for Cracked.com, the top humor website in the world. I wore many hats at Cracked: a sombrero (Columnist,) a stove pipe (First-Pass Editor,) a colorful beanie (Dick Joke Journalist), a New Era ballcap with the sticker still on it (Layout Editor), and that cool green cap Link wears (Thumbnail Editor). No trilbies though. Fuck trilbies.

Much of what I’ve written for Cracked can be found here, along with these two Quick Fixes that didn’t make the archives because they couldn’t afford the entry fee:

Found At Your Local Library: The Three Stooges Book: What happens when you take a trio of buffoons known for beating the shit out of one another and paste their exploits into a kid’s book? You get me mocking you, that’s what.

4 Hopelessly Outdated Technologies People Still Use: Did you know hundreds of thousands of floppy disks are still in use? And that when their powers are combined, they almost equal the processing power of that crappy little flash drive you got for free while attending your local Best Buy’s grand opening four years ago? You do now!

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2 thoughts on “Cracked

  1. Hey numb nuts I just read your article on Cracked about musicians who went solo and then went crazy. Lucky for you they obviously don’t have a fact checker. You mention Peter Criss and his post KISS career which is exactly like his pre-KISS career, however that gaping continuity error aside you also mentioned that KISS doesn’t have a George, John, or Paul……. Paul Stanley (The fellow who paints a star on his face,and goes by Starchild) is the rhythm guitarist and vocalist for about 85% of their songs. I can see how little things like facts would get in the way when you’re obviously spending sooooo much effort trying to come up with a punch line to a joke that even Jimmy Fallon wouldn’t find funny. So you twisted facts to try to make a joke that failed worse than a two for one special at the abortion clinic while ignoring the obvious joke that was glaring you in the face in your set-up, the Plastic Ono band……. Putz.

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